*Today's families are faced with conflicting desires; the desire for two income-producers as well as the desire for one parent to remain in the home to raise the children. Many students attempted to resolve the dilemma in their essays. Some relevant excerpts are reproduced below:
"Parents should consider working at home where their child can remain at home with them. Nowadays, it is possible to work at home especially if it is a business-type career because one of the parents can easily purchase a computer in which they can telecommunicate with their colleagues." Didi Andrew, Carbondale High School, Carbondale, Illinois
*Alternatively:
"Today child care is one of the fastest growing employee benefits. Child care [is offered by] 5,600 firms and 1,400 have on site day care. A few companies even offer subsidies for ongoing child care, sick child care, and care when a parent must travel or work overtime...Combining parenting and a career is a difficult feat, but it can be done. I really like the idea of on-site day care at work. Taking this a step further, employers can possibly set aside time during the day when parents can visit their young ones. Field trips can be arranged through their day care. Car pool- ing can be set up through the workplace also." Felicia Bell, DeForest High School, DeForest, Wisconsin
*Ways are offered for parents to spend more time with children:
"Parents need to be setting examples of responsibility. They can do this by being involved in their children's lives. A good idea to spend more time together is by making a schedule of family activities. Perhaps making a date to do something, like go to a baseball game together, could assure that time is being spent together. As long as parents and children make time to be together, the communication between them will teach the child responsibility." Nikki Rae Videen, Luck High School, Luck, Wisconsin
"[We could institute] a National Family Day. This would be celebrated privately in the family homes. It would be a day that the parents and children could enjoy doing something as a family. This would encourage communication between the members. It would also allow the family to talk about ways to improve their time spent together and their feelings about the family." Jennifer Friday, Newell-Fonda High, Newell, Iowa
"One of my teachers mentioned that if more families were like The Waltons crime and violence in this nation would be almost wiped out. A strong, healthy family unit teaches morals and values to themselves and to those around them. No matter how many government bills or laws are passed, nothing is going to stop the fall of our nation unless we, as a people, take care of our families. It's our job, it starts with us." Angie Park, Kiona-Benton High School, Benton City, Washington
*Divorce: "I believe divorces should not be so easy to get. Many families have problems because the parents have broken up. Laws should be made to make marriages more difficult to end." Cary Brown, Blue Ridge High School, Blue Ridge, Texas
"Children should be able to see that their parents love each other. Little things like hugging, kissing, holding hands, and sitting on laps really contribute to a child's healthy attitude about love. They shouldn't have to ever wonder if their parents love each other. A healthy attitude about love and marriage and being close to someone will make the child realize that the world isn't full of hate. It's not as tough as it seems to get out of bed every morning." Monica Bauer, Kiona-Benton High School, Benton City, Washington
"There is no relationship more important than the relationship between parent and child. Parents should be there forever, and not just when they are in the birth room." Justin Lewis, DeForest High School, DeForest, Wisconsin
*Dead beat dads:
"First of all, I would use my knowledge on the subject (dead beat parents) to put together some type of informal pamphlet. In this pamphlet I would include statistics to project the problem, how fathers can be located and identified as the parent, the measures being taken to prevent parents from not paying, the consequences of those who do not pay, the benefits of paying, and the effects on those children who are not receiving sufficient payment. I would then speak with the Attorney General and the staff at Rice University to try and get the pamphlets reproduced. The funds for this would be from funds set aside at Rice University for purpose of research. I would then have these booklets distributed in high school health classes, during the time that families and child care are discussed. Since the child support crisis effects the well being of the single parents and their children, I believe it would be a reasonable subject to be discussed in the classroom, If people are educated about a problem before they actually become parents, they will be less likely to become a part of the problem." Amanda Kallstrom, David Crockett High School, Austin, Texas
"Not all parents, however, are irresponsible and don't pay child support. My parents have been divorced since 1985. My father started out just like the rest of these deadbeat dads. He didn't pay child support for two years. He then moved into a new house, remarried and began paying double what was needed to make up for back pay. My uncle is also divorced. He religiously pays child support, but also does more. He doesn't only want to be a check in his child's life. He attends every sporting event, doctor appointment, and even schedules his son's hair appointments. My father's neighbor is also divorced. She not only pays child support and visits her children regularly, she also volunteers at the school and is president of the PTA." Shannon Enos, Bondurant-Farrar High School, Bondurant, Iowa
*We saw in the last section that lack of self-esteem often led youngsters to destructive behavior. In the excerpts below the need for self-esteem is reiterated and ways to help children achieve it are offered:
"As long as there is love, support, and discipline being enforced, then that's all that matters in a productive up-bringing. Children surrounded by chaos, defeat, unpredictability, and despair are less likely to learn the rules of an orderly universe, develop logical reasoning skills, or believe in their own efficacy." Suzanne Pollman, Seaman High School, Topeka, Kansas
"The family has traditionally determined whether a society fails or thrives. The family is something Americans need to rediscover but, because of its individuality, everyone has to "find family" on his/her own. Once the family reclaims it's responsibility to the youth of America, community, church, and school will also fall into place, and society, as a whole, will be a safer and more peaceful place." Jenifer Roosevelt, Carbondale High School, Carbondale, Illinois
"Through strengthening the family's sense of responsibility, we will be able to move our nation closer to our goal: a responsible, free society." Erika Grossell, Deer River High School, Deer River, Minnesota
"If, at a young age, we can nurture and pay attention to the children, fewer of them will grow up with angry and violent tendencies." Jason Tenhonen, Wallace High School, Wallace, Idaho
"Not only should parents be more involved but teachers should also. Teachers should learn to deal with disruptive children and demonstrate equal treatment to all students while trying to make every student feel special in any way they can. When children receive praise, they feel better about themselves." Jill Nichols, Luck High School, Luck, Wisconsin
"Parents need to teach kids self esteem, respect for themselves and others, how to make responsible decisions, and the impact of their behavior." Sandy Gunther, Deer River High School, Deer River, Minnesota
"Once children find that their parents believe in them, their whole self- esteem will change. They then would want to succeed in life, not for their friends or parents." Brian Preston, Concordia High, Concordia, Kansas
"Showing the youth that they are important and that they make a difference could be the first step in stopping a pattern of dehumanization and violence taught by the criminal justice system, television, and society," Jenifer Roosevelt, Carbondale High School, Carbondale, Illinois
*Remember the discussion in the previous section that suggested that "too-soft" parents could be a cause contributing to the explosion of crime and violence in our polluted culture? Here then is a way to show the recommended "tough love:"
"Parents need to give their children responsibilities early so they learn the consequences of making the wrong decision. Besides, when the child gets older the consequences are much more severe. So when your children forget to bring homework home do not go get it for them, let them face the consequences and the next time they will not forget. If you do not teach them early, they will learn the hard way when they are older, and no parents want to see that happen to their children....Many parents are distressed because when they do set limits, their kids give them a hard time. If parents can get through the rough times, and empathize with their teenagers' struggles, the rewards will be wonderful." Roxane Wentzel, Marion High School, Marion, South Dakota
"Parents need to discipline their children more when they work all day, not less because of fatigue." Paul Sweat, Kensington High School, Kensington, Kansas
"I believe before a couple decides to have children, they should be responsible enough to raise that child and teach him morals and discipline. Discipline must be enforced on children to teach them to be responsible for their actions." Anne Purfield, Eureka High School, Eureka, Illinois
"Lack of responsibility finds its roots in absence of discipline and love from parents. ...My opinion of how to produce responsible children is to have responsible parents who love and discipline them. Responsible parents set expectations and rules for their children, follow through with consequences and give explanations of punishments. Parents need to be involved, especially by taking time to talk with their children to under- stand and sympathize with their feelings. The responsibility of parents is to love and discipline their children so we can have a more responsible nation." Gina Smith, LaCrosse High School, LaCrosse, Washington
"First, what most kids need is a good challenge. Too much free time is
given to too many able hands. One positive activity is community service.
For the majority of kids, community service has its rewards in an in-
creased sense of social responsibility and self-worth. By giving these
kids something to do with their excess time, I believe that apathetic
natures would diminish. Teens would see that they can make a difference
in someone's life, besides their own. According to one Queens College
Big Buddy participant,in which college students are paired with young-
sters, and together they spend one day each weekend doing things;
'For so many years I've done absolutely nothing with my life. Now I'm
doing something beneficial.'
Most kids are hunting for direction. They see the way life is on the
streets, and many don't know what else is out there. One way of
obtaining a new perspective is for students to hold part-time jobs.
Teachers, students, and social scientists all agree that work can teach
discipline, self-respect and efficiency. It can guide students on the
verge of dropping out--or into criminality--by keeping them on track of
a good job. So if kids are shown that they can make somethin