Just For Fun: Humor

"Obviously, our media is not perfect. It is influenced by personal and corporate biases and human error. Until computers research and report all of our news, or CNN hires God, the present system will not drastically change on that level." OH

"When all is said the media keeps America runing and without them life would be dull and void." OK

"Each candidate seems to have some sort of skeleton in his closet which hangs around his neck like a noose, just waiting to be pulled." VA

"I do not think that it makes a difference to our country's success, if the Vice-President knows how to spell potato. It is nice to know how to spell vegetable words, but . . ." OH

"We don't need to cut down an idea or a candidate who is doing the best job he can with what little he has to do it with." SD

"...somebody, somewhere must be satisfied with the present turn of affairs." PA

"Do you remember how stories such as Dan Quayle's inability to spell potato (sorry no 'e' Dan) were noted in every major magazine. Why was such a big deal made of it? So what if the man could not spell potato. Weren't dictionaries invented for a reason?" PA

"Dan Quayle, as he did during his term, stuck his foot in his mouth quite often. From his misspelling potato(e) to blaming the deterioration of American family values on television character Murphy Brown deciding to have a child out of wedlock, if Quayle accomplished anything in his campaign, it was acquiring a fondness for the flavor of shoe leather." IN

"If you're not from Idaho, what would make the act of misspelling potato such a felony? I don't think that the United States will ever be in a conference with a foreign country, playing Scrabble or something, and go to war because our Vice President tried to pick up a triple by adding an "e" to potato." MO

"(Regarding) Vice President Quayle's spelling of 'potato.'..When I am able to go and vote, I would rather vote on issues - not vegetables." PA

"All writers of articles should be open-minded, and most of all, be somewhat objective." NY

"A new president is to reporters what a new continent would be to explorers." TX

"If the media ever begins doing what they have been accused of, then we must put a stop to it." KS

"The press works in mysterious ways." TX

"Television, either directly or indirectly, regulates our work, sleep, play, and even our bathroom habits. Water pressure drops dramatically during commercials and between television programs. In fact, the water department of Lafayette, Louisiana, reported that during the first showing of 'Airport,' from the time the bomb exploded to the end, hardly anyone left their television sets. But after the show, over 20,000 people flushed 80,000 gallons of water nearly at the same time." KS

"Without the press the candidates would be just a bunch of strangers to us." TX

"Trying to decipher the confusion of the media can cause one a lot of heartache." TX

"Clinton has much time to speak with the press since he has no job to attend to." TX

"The media for the most part does a good job. The only thing that they have to work on is getting the facts straight and getting the truth." MI

"There will be a future; there is no doubt of that." CA

"The technical term for this is mud-slinging. The art of mud-slinging should be seriously reduced by means of some sort or another." SD

"Feel that politics is a hard and tiring job to have." IL

"All too many times the media molds information like a plastic surgeon molds breasts" IL

"If the media did act as a fourth branch of government, the public would probably be well informed on critical issues such as the extent of the President's morning jog around Washington." MD

"The media seems to be more trouble than it's worth." MD

"The media are not obligated to tell the truth." AL

"I know that the media is what keeps the world going..." AR

"The self-made millionaire (Billionaire) ....was more liked because he was an average person." WI

"All is fair in love, war, and the media." NE

"There should be set limitations on how many reporters can cover a candidate. Someday a swarm of reporters is going to kill somebody by trampling them." PA

"(Perot) had a lot of money. They (the media) knew he did not have to take this job." WV

"Superior intelligence cannot be assumed on the media's part." CA

"Coverage of candidates is popular with their (the media's) audience and it makes the media seem truly useful." OK

"If there is one thing that a candidate had better be when he runs for office, it is clean. If he is not clean, he will be miserable indeed when he cracks open the morning paper." AL

"We cannot expect the candidates running for national office to know at birth that they're going to be campaigning and should therefore live a perfect life up till this time." NH

"If the candidates claimed to be mistake free, one could not trust them." AL

"The purpose is to find someone who has the ability to run a country. It does not matter that the person might have had an affair or that he has a dog that wrote a book." AR

"The media are the voter's education and the candidate's salvation or cremation." WV

"A story about protesting the war, shot Clinton down." MI

"Sometimes the media could be a little more tactful with their ideas, but for the most part, they are, if nothing else, entertaining." WV

"Trying to remain unbiased during an election is much harder than covering the United States in a war." AR

"Even in the media, there are Republicans, Democrats, and Independents." AR

"The media have so much other news to cover, such as weather and sports, that there is hardly fifteen minutes left for political coverage." WV

"No matter what you hear, believe it or not it might not be true. The media has been wrong before and will most likely be in the future." WI

"To trust a stranger is to be a fool, and I do not know Sam Donaldson that well." IL

"The candidates should stay away from the media during elections." IL

"Because the media is now unofficially part of our government, it is also prone to corruption and dishonesty" MI

"We have to remember that the members of the media are only people too." SD

"Some think that if politicians are going to run our lives, the least we can expect in return is some entertainment value out of them." TN

"True journalism is as hard to find as a truthful politician." IL

"No one knows what it is like to be president of the United States...I would love to see one of the journalists in a national office." ?

"The media also wasted time and effort reporting (what) presidential pet is going to be in the White House next. They went to far as to give Bill Clinton's cat catnip just to get a picture of it. If I had to start taking pictures of cats for news, I would stop being a reporter altogether." PA

"Every time there is a new candidate for office, the media treats the man or woman like it is a diseased animal." SD

"We don't have time for television debates but simply a look at a newspaper should tell us what happened." NE

"Basic human nature hampers the ability of those in the media to leave the news as they find it." CA

"They (the media) have become very liberal with their views and have gone astray." CA

"At times, the media may seem fictional." OH

"It is impossible to exclude human nature from anything humans do, and journalists do not necessarily exist outside of the human realm." OH

"According to the available information, the toothpaste used by the candidates is not held against them. Perhaps the media does have some respect for privacy after all." SD

"The proud lion lived in a jungle. One day, a large bull became lost in the jungle. The lion came across the bull's path, and crept up behind the beast. With a single swipe of his enormous paw, the lion killed the bull. Then the lion settled down to feast. When he was full, he rose, stretched, and proclaimed his pleasure with a terrible roar. The lion was unaware of the game-hunter in the jungle. When the hunter heard the roar, he tracked the lion. The hunter came upon the king of the jungle in all of his ferocious glory...took aim...fired...and killed the lion with one shot. The moral to this story--When you are full of bull, keep your mouth shut!" OH

"Even the nonbelievers are still going to think twice before casting their Clinton vote when they see 'Clinton's Wife Gives Birth to Alien Baby' on the cover of the current Enquirer." OH

"Unbiased journalists are hard to come by, and the ones that exist never get good jobs." NY

"They (the media) should be the soul provider of information to the voters." IN

"I believe that reporters-journalists have the job they have because they enjoy intruding on people's lives." IN

"The media tried to help George Bush and Dan Quayle, but by the time they realized that Bush and Quayle needed help, it was too late. Bush and Quayle had gotten themselves into a deep hole, a hole which they were never able to overpower." IL "The press could maybe take a break and write every other day or when something really important happens instead of the monotony of everyday on the news." PA

"The President doesn't need chastity to be in office." PA

"...the person with the least amount of secrets may simply be hiding them better." PA